The Circle Blueprint Read online

  Table of Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  About the Circle Blueprint System

  Foreword

  Introduction

  Chapter 1: The Circle Blueprint What Is in Your Circle?

  Chapter 2: Enlarging and Balancing Your Circle The Tale of Two Brothers

  Your Life Is Meant to Thrive

  Pleasure

  Caring for Self and Your Well‐Being

  Caring for Others: Family, Acquaintances, Friends, and Partners

  Parenting

  Work

  Chapter 3: Four Critical Developmental Tasks Four Critical Areas of Development

  Chapter 4: Balancing the Circle The Problem of an Unbalanced Circle

  Chapter 5: Distress and Vision in Expanding Your Circle The Two Levers

  First Steps

  You Create a Vision of What Your Life Can Be

  Chapter 6: Driving Your Circle Expansion: Brakes and Gas Pedals The Law of Attraction

  Brakes and Gas Pedals

  Creating a PhD, a Story of Belief

  Write It Down

  Chapter 7: Creating a Road Map Lisa's Story

  Accountability

  Chapter 8: Impact on Others You Change for the Better

  Chapter 9: Assessing Your Circle Example 1: Independence and Power‐Driven with Low Humility and Purpose

  Example 2: Power and Purpose‐Driven with Low Independence and Humility

  Example 3: High Independence and Purpose, Combined with Low Humility and Power

  Example 4: Power and Purpose‐Driven, with Low Independence and Humility

  Example 5: Power, Humility, and Purpose‐Driven, with Low Independence

  The Assessment Process

  Chapter 10: Independence The Journey

  The Independence Element

  Independence Chapter Summary

  Steps to Reduce Crisis‐Prone Behaviors

  Steps to Increase Autonomy

  Steps to Reduce Pleasing Behaviors

  Steps to Reduce Pretentiousness

  Steps to Reduce Reliance

  Steps to Increase Personal Commitments

  Chapter 11: Power The Power Element

  Power Chapter Summary

  Steps to Increase Self‐Determination

  Steps to Increase Self‐Efficacy

  Steps to Improve Zest

  Steps to Expand Acceptance

  Steps to Increase Your Self‐Discipline

  Chapter 12: Humility The Humility Element

  Three Models for Seeing Yourself

  Humility Chapter Summary

  Questions to Better Understand Your Mastery of Humility

  Steps to Increase Modesty Behaviors

  Steps to Reduce Narcissistic Behaviors

  Steps to Improve Self‐Monitoring

  Steps to Improve Self‐Esteem

  Steps to Improve Tolerance

  Chapter 13: Purpose The Purpose Element

  Purpose Chapter Summary

  Steps to Improve Being Resolute

  Steps to Improve Diligence

  Steps to Overcome Myopic Behavior

  Steps to Improve Experience Sharing

  Steps to Reduce Self‐Deception

  Steps to Increase Spirituality

  Chapter 14: Balancing Purpose within the Circle Balance

  Chapter 15: Achieving Greatness Pulling It All Together

  Ascending Your Throne

  Chapter 16: Conclusion

  References

  Index

  End User License Agreement

  List of Illustrations

  Chapter 4 Figure 4.1 Unbalanced Circle

  Figure 4.2 Personal Balance

  Chapter 5 Figure 5.1 Steps in Expanding Your Circle

  Chapter 9 Figure 9.1 An Example of Unbalanced Circle—High Power Driven Circle

  Figure 9.2 Balanced Circle

  Figure 9.3 High Power and Independence‐Driven Circle

  Figure 9.4 Balanced Circle

  Figure 9.5 High Power and Purpose‐Driven Circle

  Figure 9.6 Balanced Circle

  Figure 9.7 High Independence and Purpose‐Driven Circle

  Figure 9.8 Balanced Circle

  Figure 9.9 High Power and Purpose‐Driven Circle

  Figure 9.10 Balanced Circle

  Figure 9.11 High Power, Humility, and Purpose‐Driven Circle

  Chapter 12 Figure 12.1 Three Modes of Self‐Esteem

  THE CIRCLE BLUEPRINT

  Decoding the Conscious and Unconscious Factors that Determine Your Success

  Jack Skeen | Greg Miller | Aaron Hill

  Copyright © 2017 by Wiley. All rights reserved.

  Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

  Published simultaneously in Canada.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

  Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with the respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom.

  For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

  Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is Available:

  ISBN 9781119434856 (Hardcover)

  ISBN 9781119434849 (ePDF)

  ISBN 9781119434863 (ePub)

  Cover Design: Wiley

  Cover Image: © Barcin/Getty Images

  About the Circle Blueprint System

  The Circle Blueprint is a revolutionary life improvement system that is designed to help you on your path to happiness and success. It's made up of three components:

  PART 1: THE BOOK. The Circle Blueprint: Decoding the Conscious and Unconscious Factors that Determine Your Success by Jack Skeen, Greg Miller, and Aaron Hill delves into the theory behind the system. It zeroes in on four developmental areas—Independence, Power, Humility, and Purpose—that combine to make you a “whole” and balanced person. Importantly, the authors explain the real meanings of these four words. (You might be surprised to learn their meanings have gotten lost over time.)

  T
he authors paint a vivid picture of what these concepts look like in the life of a person who has mastered them (and conversely what they might look like when you haven't). They give you the language to finally understand on a deep level what's wrong in your life.

  PART 2: THE ASSESSMENT. This scientifically validated psychometric self-assessment tool reveals your inherent personality traits as they pertain to the concepts in the book. It tells you exactly where you fall on a “mastery” spectrum in the book's four developmental areas—unearthing exactly where you are limiting your greatness. This is the self‐awareness piece that truly sparks change and pushes you to move toward balance, wholeness, and a life in which you thrive. By the way, your results are 100 percent confidential, so you can feel free to be completely honest when you answer the questions.

  PART 3: THE SUPPLEMENTAL WORKBOOKS. These four workbooks are filled with step‐by‐step instruction to help you master the four key developmental areas. This is where you “do the work.” Some people choose to engage a coach during this phase, though it's not required.

  Here are seven benefits of the Circle Blueprint System:

  It's incredibly comprehensive. It covers a broad spectrum of behaviors and works well for many different personality types. Also, it sparks improvement (often dramatic improvement) in both the personal and professional areas of your life.

  It's personalized. Many self‐help books and programs are “one size fits all.” They give generic advice on what to do without first showing you where you are on your journey right now. (This is why most don't work.) Thanks to the thorough and accurate assessment, the Circle Blueprint System is all about YOU and how you view yourself. Then, depending where you fall on the five‐point mastery scale—whose levels range from “hanging on” to “thriving”—you're directed to the appropriate starting point in the appropriate workbook. You start where you are.

  It's private. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable revealing personal information about themselves. That's why the system is designed for privacy from beginning to end. Participants are reassured by the knowledge that their assessment results and all subsequent improvement work are completely confidential.

  It's flexible. You can read the book first…or jump right into the assessment…or take the assessment in stages as you follow the book. You can focus your efforts on mastering one of the four developmental areas or all of them. You can take advantage of specialized coaching if you like—or you can work on yourself without engaging any outside help. You can go as deeply as you want and move as quickly as you want.

  It's cost effective. While it is beneficial for many people, coaching is not required. Once you've purchased the materials you're fully emancipated to work by yourself, at the cadence that appeals to you.

  It fosters rapid improvement. Once you become aware of your weaknesses you can improve very, very quickly. It's not unusual for a person to move from “hanging on” to “thriving” in the blink of an eye.

  It's a pathway to lasting change. Again, “awareness” is the magic key. Once you know exactly what your problems are—what's holding you back from having the life you want—you almost have to address them. You know ignoring them is only hurting yourself. And once you see and feel the improvements in your life, you'll do anything to keep from going back to where you started.

  For more information about the Circle Blueprint System, please visit www.thecircleblueprint.com.

  Foreword

  This book is all about becoming a happy, balanced, thriving person who lives a meaningful life. Not coincidentally, this is the kind of person who makes a great leader.

  Interestingly, the heart and soul of leadership have not changed in the past 50 years. I have found that the qualities and traits that create the kind of person who inspires others to follow and brings out the best in them are the same qualities and traits they've always been. In an age of dizzying change, I find it very reassuring to know that some things remain steadfast!

  As a private equity investor who partners with companies to support long‐term growth, I am incredibly interested in the subject of what great leaders look like. In fact, I will invest only in companies whose leadership teams are made up of balanced, thriving people.

  It's my belief that no organization can thrive over time, financially or otherwise, without a subset of fundamentally good people at the top, people who care about those they work with and sincerely want to help develop them. The deep‐rooted goal of such leaders is to build a strong business that serves the customer, the employees, and the owners—and they wake up each morning with that in mind.

  In his classic book Good to Great, Jim Collins writes extensively about getting the right people on the bus. By this, he means leaders who are humble but also driven to do what's best for the company. Collins's book is a wonderful, empirically based work that explores how to use these “right people” to create great companies. It's a valuable resource. But what Collins doesn't really address is how to develop the leaders themselves.

  That's where The Circle Blueprint steps in. Where Collins veers “right” into the business side of this topic, Jack Skeen, Greg Miller, and Aaron Hill veer “left” into the personal development arena.

  Becoming a balanced “whole person” starts with self‐awareness. In my experience, most people really aren't self‐aware. That's why I'm pleased to say that this thoughtfully organized book; the proprietary, scientifically validated assessment; and the accompanying workbooks are all aimed at creating that self‐awareness—a necessary first step to becoming a great leader.

  The program then provides a very specific framework to help leaders move on from their new place of self‐awareness and work to become balanced, fulfilled, successful human beings.

  This framework is quite comprehensive, and in my mind that's what makes the program unique and valuable. Too many leader development programs are random, scattershot, and generalized. When you're a leader participating in such a program, you really don't know where your “problem areas” lie and therefore can't possibly know where to focus your improvement efforts.

  The Circle Blueprint approach measures the right things, gives specific feedback on how you're wired and how you can best align to the world around you, and offers practical guidance for moving forward on your journey. Plus, you can start from exactly where you are in terms of both how well you've mastered the crucial elements of the Circle and where you are in your career.

  When I saw the four developmental areas that Jack, Greg, and Aaron focused on in their book—independence, power, humility, and purpose—I was quite pleased. They resonated with me in terms of both my own journey and the qualities I see in the leaders I work with every day.

  I also like that they get to the heart of what the traits and concepts really mean. Over time, the perception people have about these words has shifted, and most of us have the wrong idea about their original meaning.

  Take independence. People think it means being self‐sufficient—able to pay your bills, make your own decisions, forge your own destiny. But what it really means is being totally free from the need to please others or win their approval. You're free to do what you believe is right, not what someone else thinks is right. This is a rare trait, but it is essential to being a great leader.

  I have found that when people lack independence, they also lack self‐confidence. They can't act decisively. Such people might be good managers, but they can never be great leaders.

  The authors say that if you don't possess true independence you'll never be able to tap into your true power. This is another area where most people lose their way. They focus on the conventional definition, which centers on attaining and exerting power, rather than seeking to discover it within themselves. True power should be viewed as your own unique, special skill that makes you good at what you do.

  We all have a power center. Some people find it. Others never do. And still others find it and use it in destructive ways. While often powerful, these folks are not great
leaders.

  Next comes humility. Many leaders struggle with this area. They seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding about how leaders “should” behave and present themselves. People in my generation tend to think that leaders must be dominant, commanding figures.

  I have found the opposite is true. The leaders who inspire the most confidence in others are those who listen five times more than they speak, who don't have an overinflated view of their own importance, who don't mind admitting they don't have all the answers.

  The fourth developmental area is purpose. I believe that in most instances, this is more of a personal trait than a corporate one. Purpose‐driven for‐profit enterprises are rare. On the other hand, there are many leaders who have a strong internal sense that they are working toward a purpose greater than themselves—and these leaders are quite powerful.

  In the past, a company's “purpose” was usually discussed in the context of making money. However, this mindset has shifted a bit over the last couple of decades. The most successful newer businesses like Apple, Amazon, and Uber are built on the notion of addressing a human need in a new way—a purpose envisioned by someone who saw the world differently.

  I'd like to close by saying that this book comes at the right moment in time. There is a growing need for great leaders to help organizations navigate the tumultuous waters of today's marketplace and economy. And for individual leaders there is also a great need—to perform well and improve quickly.

  The reality is that we can no longer wait until we're 50 years old with a lifetime of experience under our belt to operate at the top of our game. Things simply move much faster now, and expectations are much higher. And that's why the program described in this book is so valuable—it gives companies a way to know how their leaders are developing and gives leaders a set path to follow as they forge ahead on their journey.